Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize