Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
