Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
