O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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