Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
