so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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