he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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