I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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