Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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