hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize