So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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