Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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