He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The Olympian is in my bed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
