You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
