At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
ttyl tear gas
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
