he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
