pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
