I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
