last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
