Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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