In America we eat man semen.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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