We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
