ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
