How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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