def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize