Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
