So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
