I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
organizing the empties. That sober.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
