That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
