YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
