is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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