all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
