if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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