you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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