shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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