big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
