Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
