Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize