he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
