Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I didn't notice because vodka
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
