I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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