last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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