They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize