you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
