its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My penis needs a shock collar
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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