so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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