when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need water and some morals
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize