Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
