Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
