just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize