Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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