Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
