as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
