Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
