he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Let's paint friendship bongs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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