I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize