Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
