A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
