I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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