Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize