so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
