I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
