how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize