nut hugger
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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