As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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