Say something about gay babies.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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