I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
