My friends, they love my intelligence
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
In America we eat man semen.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
