Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
