there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
