oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
