you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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