i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
