You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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