I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
