i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
