No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
