We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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