I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
