Just cropdusted the office
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
