her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
