wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
