Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
